Guide
Settling in at nursery: what the first weeks look like
The topic that worries new parents most. Here is how a gradual settling-in period works, what is normal, and what tells you your child is finding their bearings.
Last updated : 7 min read
In short
Settling in — adaptation in French — is a gradual start at nursery. With us it runs over about two weeks: on day one the child comes for an hour with a parent; the time then lengthens as the parent steps back, reaching full days in the second week. The schedule is always adjusted to the child.
Why is a settling-in period necessary?
Because a child cannot build in a single day the confidence needed to spend hours away from their parents, in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar sounds and smells.
Settling in does three things at once. It lets the child discover a new environment while their attachment figure is present. It lets the team learn the child: sleep rhythms, how they eat, what soothes them, what irritates them. And it lets parents hand over knowingly — which matters more than people expect, because a reassured parent transmits calm.
Skipping or compressing this stage almost always backfires: longer crying, disturbed sleep, and a start experienced as a rupture.
What does the schedule actually look like?
In steps. It starts with an hour alongside a parent, then attendance lengthens, separation is introduced, then a meal, then a nap.
With us the indicative pattern is as follows, always adapted to the individual child.
Day 1
One hour on site with the parent present. The child explores, the parent stays available, the key person observes and talks with you.
Following days
Attendance lengthens and the parent steps away gradually: a few minutes at first, then a longer separation, always announced to the child.
Key milestones
The first meal and the first nap on site are two important moments, taken once the child has found their bearings.
Second week
The child attends full days, or their usual contracted days.
How long does settling in take?
About two weeks with us. Some children settle faster, others need longer, and that is planned for.
Duration is not a measure of success. A child who takes three weeks is not settling badly: they simply need more repetitions to internalise that their parents always come back.
If you can, plan the period when your work allows some flexibility. It is the main practical advice we give families: settling in during a full-time return to work is harder on everyone.
What is the key person's role?
She is the practitioner who follows your child particularly closely: she leads the settling in, knows their habits, is your main contact and provides a stable anchor in the group.
A key person does not mean one adult only: the whole team knows your child. But one adult holds their story, which gives the child an anchor and parents a named contact.
She also handles the morning and evening handovers and the meetings held during the year. Tell her what is happening at home — a bad night, teething, a house move. That context changes how a day is read.
What if my child cries at drop-off?
It is a normal reaction, especially early on. What helps is leaving clearly, without stretching the goodbye, and trusting the team to take over.
Crying at separation does not mean the child is unhappy all day. In the great majority of cases it settles within minutes of the parent leaving, once a familiar adult takes over and an activity begins.
What genuinely helps: a short goodbye ritual that is always the same, a clear sentence saying that you are leaving and coming back, and never slipping away unseen — which undermines trust.
The team supports the child kindly, offers their comfort object and calls on the key person. If distress persists, we contact the parents — a simple rule that reassures many families.
How can we prepare a child before the first day?
Talk about the nursery simply and positively, bring a comfort object, and stabilise sleep rhythms a few days in advance.
A comfort object plays a real role: it carries the smell of home and bridges the two worlds. Bring it from day one and leave it available.
Talk about the nursery in the present tense and without drama: name the key person, describe what will happen, describe the journey. Even a baby picks up on tone and anticipation.
Finally, avoid stacking big changes. A house move, giving up the dummy and starting nursery in the same week is a lot for a small child.
How do we know it is going well?
When the child explores the room, accepts contact from a team member, eats and sleeps on site, and settles back into rhythm at home.
Beware of false alarms. A child who cries at pick-up has not necessarily had a bad day: it is often the release of contained tension. Likewise, slightly disturbed sleep in the first days is common and temporary.
The genuine warning signs are persistent: ongoing refusal to eat at nursery, no sleep beyond the first weeks, distress that does not ease after the parent leaves. In those cases we adjust — slow the pace, revisit the hours, and meet with the parents again.
Frequently asked questions
How long is settling in at your nursery?
About two weeks, from a first day of one hour with a parent to full days in the second week. The pattern is indicative and always adapted to each child.
Does a parent need to be present?
Yes, at the start. Parental presence is essential in the first days, then reduces gradually as the child finds their bearings.
Can we bring a comfort object or dummy?
Yes, and we recommend it. A comfort object helps the child bridge home and nursery.
What happens if my child cries for a long time?
The team supports them, offers the comfort object and calls on the key person. If distress persists we call the parents and adjust the pace of settling in.
Do we need to settle in again after holidays?
Not a full settling-in period, but a gentle return often helps after a long absence: prepare the child, resume the rituals and stay attentive in the first days.
Plan your child's arrival calmly
Settling in is the fourth step of our enrolment process, after the form, the visit and the admission interview. We take the time to organise it with you.
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